I really can't believe Joe is 4.5 months old. He is growing like a weed. He makes me smile all day long. Today he actually learned to scoot on his tummy across his play mat to the other side. I was amazed! Ask me a year ago, and I would never have imagined how much joy the simple little milestones would bring to my life. Although I am so happy to see him achieving these things, it gives me a tinge of sadness inside that he will never be this small again. Tomorrow he will be a little bigger, smarter, sweeter...all the while growing right out of my arms. Tear.
This realization was a reality check for me. I was starting to get flustered when he would only take a nap on me, and not in his crib. I would look around at all that needed to be done and feel overwhelmed. I would let this stress me out. I would cry when I couldn't find the time to take a shower or a nap. Today, I let it all go. I welcomed the sweet warmness of his little body next to mine while he slept soundly in my arms...the only place in the world at that moment where he felt secure enough to sleep hard and for a long period of time. I watched him dream. His tiny eyelids would flutter and he would let out small noises from those perfectly soft lips. He would smile, and I imagined him dreaming of all the milk in the world. He made me laugh on several occasions. These are the moments I will never get back. I refuse to let them escape me because I am too worried about getting the laundry done or the carpet vacuumed.
One day he will be five years old, waving good bye to me as he makes his way to the school bus, and I will have more than enough time to do what I need to do. Until then, I am savoring every last moment with this amazing miracle. I am blessed and forever thankful for my baby.
Beautiful. Hugs.
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