The Perfect Mom

In my most recent four months, I have been in pursuit to be the perfect mom. Yes, it's true...I have been trying very hard to perfect my not-so-perfect mothering techniques. I have stressed myself out on many occasions trying to be everything to my baby. EVERYTHING. I find validation in his smiles, laughs and sweet coos. Where I find myself falling short is the wailing cries and tears, the gas that I can't get to go away no matter what I try. I blame myself. I change my diet, I try the drops, I work his little legs in a bicycle motion until the tears stop.  I cry when he cries, and I feel guilty about it, I feel like I am not the strong mom that I need to be...I realize at this point that I am not perfect. I realize that although it is impossible to obtain perfection, I still strive for it when it comes to my sweet baby. I fall short and it makes me sad. Hormones? Maybe. All the same, it breaks my heart in a million pieces when I can't fix what is wrong. Who said motherhood was easy?! I want to look that girl in the eyes and call her a liar. If, that girl even exists. This is the hardest job that I have ever been blessed with. It's a lot of worry, tears and "I don't knows", it's a lot of unnecessary trips to the doctors office, many sleepless nights and a lot of self blame when things don't go exactly how the books say they should. Who wrote those things anyway?

So, all that being said,  I am giving up my pursuit to be the perfect mom...I am working now on accepting that I will be everything my baby needs even if I'm not perfect. I am learning, and boy-oh-boy, this is the biggest learning curve I have ever encountered. Here's to all you mommas out there, who so desperately need a hug at the end of a long hard day...My hat is off to you ladies, and lets stop trying to obtain perfection and just relish those hugs, kisses, and little laughs. We are strong, we are able, we are moms.